“Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life.” Robin Sharma
It’s funny that this popped up on my Pinterest board because I’ve been thinking along these lines lately. Recently I’ve had several conversations about safety and security. I’ve always been told I’m a dreamer. I’ve been told how/who to be. You’re smart, be a doctor. Do something where you make more money. Don’t ride your bide, drive. Or at least let me give you a ride. Don’t live in a shed. Don’t you want heat? Why are you going to California? Aren’t you scared? Are you really hiking by yourself? Why start your own business? Are you making money? Save for retirement. Maybe you need someone to bring you out of the clouds. You could do anything, are you sure this is what you want? Why change?
I believe in infinite possibilities. I believe in passion. I believe in taking risks. I believe in dreams. I believe in my dreams. I believe in me.
I am also afraid of delayed living. I am terrified to wake up when I’m 80 and realize I’ve live how I should, but feel completely unfulfilled. I’m afraid of not listening to my heart. To my intuition. I’m afraid of not falling in love. Of never knowing its pleasures and pain. I’m afraid of exchanging passion for mindless work and a paycheck. I’m afraid of not embracing those little moments. Kisses. Smiles. Laughter. My nephews. I’m afraid of missing out on life in the here and now. Of knowing there is a mountain out there calling my name and I never answered, because I was waiting…..waiting for everything to line up ‘perfectly’. But then perfect never comes. I’m afraid of smothering my creativity. Of editing to please everyone, rather than digging into my own imagination and letting the right people come to value what I have to offer. I’m afraid of letting my voice be stifled. Of remaining silent and let someone else narrate. Continue reading →
Growing up everyone told me I should be an artist. I was even voted most artistic in my class. When I was in fifth grade you have the option to either take strings or newspaper. However, the year I was in fifth grade they offered advanced art (like it was a little gift just for me). It was then that I fell incandescently in love with sketching portraits. Needless to say I didn’t actually study art. But I have noticed how the artist, the creative, eccentricity has manifested into other areas of my life. In my makeup. In my personal style. In my bedroom. In my business. In baking. A month ago I was talking with Tab about my artist past and she said,
But Brittany, you are an artist. An artist of life.
Boom, reason at least a billion of why I have such radical friends. She’s right. Life is an art. For some it may be music. A song and soundtrack. For me it is a vivid happy scenery I paint. One that I love irrevocably. A beautiful, magical experience. I love sharing my beautiful views of the world. In my photography. In the spark of my eyes. In my food. In my booth. In my clothes. It’s in my dreams. In the chase. In the journey. It’s the beautiful climb to the top and the breathtaking view from the top. It’s the Continue reading →
My friend broke up with her boyfriend a few months ago. Recent revelations have sent her reeling with hurt. My response today was that she is-BETTER- off. Everything in life happens for a reason. And once it does, there are no take backs. I may be a future tripper, but staring at my ass and regretting anything doesn’t happen often. Learn and grow. Every experience, interaction, relationship, ‘failure’, dark period is an opportunity. The eternal optimist in me yearns to see the positive in life. In situations. In actions. In thoughts. Keep expanding. We always have the chance to get (become) better with each lesson. When a relationship ends there is the void. We are used to talking to them, seeing them, touching them, texting them. When the relationship, friendship, whatever ends, there is a hole. A hole, a wound, that has to heal. Healing takes times and leaves scars. But to me scars are such a beautiful thing (and I mean physical as well). They are essential to our story. Something we have learned. But today when I text her, I also realized that relationships take up space in our lives.With her ex gone, she now has open space. Open space to fill with people who really love and adore her unconditionally. We decide who, what fill up our space.
And so today as I had a perfect day with my family, I realized that I too needed to focus on this space. How to fill it? Who do I want there? I may love everyone, but I want my spaces loaded with people who fill me up. I want to be surrounded by positive people. People who inspire me. People who live in the moment. People who are passionate. People who are creative. People who believe. Who believe in themselves. Who believe in possibilities. People with soul. I want to fill space with people who love nature. Who seek adventure. Who live awe. Continue reading →
I have been moving. After spending three-years in my little shed, I have ventured into town into the basement of my friend Chelsey’s new home. After spending so much time simplifying, I am now faced with the temptation of wanting. When my friends are going to TJMaxx or Hobby Lobby or searching the internet for more stuff, my ego sometimes gets caught up. I’ll catch myself thinking, “maybe I need more clothes or candles or more _______ (insert something material).” In a world, rather a society, where we are constantly striving and wanting more, how can we want less? How can we be content with what we have? When do we stop buying more stuff?
This really has been on my mind the last month. What I’ve found to accompany the want is more future tripping. So how do you step away from it? How does the law of attraction want and what do I want thing play into this? Life is happening now. How can I be present and fulfilled in the present moment if I’m thinking of future acquirements and goals obtained? It is an ebb and flow in my thoughts. Here is what I have found for myself.
I need to go Danielle LaPorte style and ask myself, “how do I want to feel.” Boom this is where the journey all starts. Rather than ask what do I want to buy, ask how you want to feel. Shift. Transition. Perspective turn. I find in asking myself how I want to feel, I realize that I am capable of those feelings now. I cannot forgot what simplifying and living in my shed did to my perspective. When I gave up all my shit and taking care of it, I gained life. It is amazing the abundance awaiting you when you let go. Letting go of my material possessions, brought my soulful possessions to the surface. My gratitude soared. My appreciation for my family and friends multiplied. It filled my heart up 100%. My gut and intuition voices spoke louder and clearer. I got in tune with myself, with my dreams, with my passions, with what drives me. I spent my days doing more of what made me happy. I hiked. I wrote. I started my own baking business. I started speaking my truth. I started owning my authenticity. I valued time more. I started loving more. I gained freedom. Freedom to travel. To say yes. To fly. Continue reading →
Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate. ~Jordan Bach
Boom this is radical! Just read this in my Miracles Now book by Gabby Bernstein and I HAD to stop and write. I’ve been thinking along these lines lately. In thinking about beauty and thinking about people and my friends, I repeat to myself: look for the good. Instead of pointing out ‘flaws’ in your body, rock and go with some powerful affirmations about it’s beauty. Instead of focusing on what drives you crazy about someone, shift and think about something positive about them. What do you like about them? Instead of thinking life sucks or you’re getting shit on, turn your pity party into a chance for growth and an adventure to find something positive. Bring your vibration up. Center your thoughts on what brings you joy. Do more of those things. Give more compliments. Find what you love!
So in celebration I felt right away when I read this (instinctually) to share some of the things I love. Focus on that. Enjoy that!
I love life. Man it feels so good to wake up in the morning. I give thanks for rising each day. What potential this morning has. What opportunities this day has. What possibilities await me. I am alive and like my brother-in-law said, “There are no bad days, some are simply better than others.” Make this one of the best.
I love my family. Spending time with my six, four, and 1 year-old nephews brings me such happiness. The innocence. The curiosity. I love it when Trenton’s lost on a story or jumps on the phone to talk to me. I love waking up squished in between him and Gavin, watching them sleep so content and perfectly. I love all the facial expressions the twins make. How they are constantly watching and wondering what I’m doing. How they sleep perfectly on my chest when we are napping together. I love deep conversations with my dad after we’ve finished shooting our bows. Looking up into the trees or into the sky pondering life and nature. I love when my brother laughs. He is so pure and innocent, any time with him melts my heart. I love catching moments with my sister, where we are alike. When we’re reminiscing about the same old-time band. When I discover commonalities I never knew existed. When we’re on a creative tangent. Any time I’m with my mom. If it’s in kettlebell classes. Or bike races in front of the house. Or walking with Todd’s mom Sharon. It is fun. It makes me smile. Family time is always a treasured time. Family time is also friend time. Whether we’re gathered together in the kitchen for a family dinner. Or sitting around watching our latest tv series obsession. Or impromptu trips to sushi. The dynamic of us all together flows.
I love cooking. I love baking. Ever since I was a little girl the kitchen has felt like home to me. My dad is a bomb-ass cook. Plus I have two stellar grandma’s who’ve spent decades putting homemade meals on the table for relatively large families. I love holidays at the Paulin’s with their open concept space, I can flow from kitchen to living rooms and connect with my aunts, uncles, and cousins. We laugh. We drink wine. We sample. We tell stories. Kitchens to me have always been a place of gathering together. Growing up in the country. We didn’t go to town often. With no cable as well, we spent our summers outside patrolling the neighborhood with our cousins. Then at night the family sat at the table for a home-cooked meal by my father. I used to stand in that kitchen baking a pie a day just for the fun of it. Or I’d be in there by myself making stir fry, practicing for my future cooking show. I think now too, that the kitchen and food has become a way for me to express myself. It’s become a creative energy outlet. When I was younger I liked to sketch and people always told me to be an artist. Now today it has morphed into what I can create in the kitchen. I put my creativity, my energy, my love, my soul into the food I make, and to me that is what makes a really, good tasty meal. Turn on some music, let me sing and dance around the kitchen and I am set. That is not working, that is incandescent love.
I love writing. I used to get discouraged writing when I was younger, because the thoughts seemed so much better in my head than when I tried to write them down on paper. The eloquence was lost in translation. But then as I grew older, my passion for writing transformed. When I needed to deal with life, with my thoughts, when I struggling, when I was happy, when I just needed to clear my freaking head, I started writing. It felt so good. Now I write, because I truly enjoy it. Going back and reading my own stuff can often re-inspire me. It tracks were I’ve been. What I’ve done. And reminds me to believe in where I’m going. It is yet another avenue for me to express myself. It is also a gift. As a visual person, writing it down and sharing my heart, soul, and thoughts is a true blessing. You can give a person a new shirt or something shiny, but what if you give them a part of your heart? Do more of what you’re passionate about.
I love hiking. Again I go back to that country thing. What fucking rad parents I have. I’ve been thinking that more and more lately. The outdoors were instilled in us. My father was a hunter and fisherman (as well as my grandfather who is in the fishing hall of fame). We took camping trips. We went hiking. I dragged deer out of the woods on my birthday. We went mushroom hunting. We grew gardens, and my brother and I actually had self reliance instilled in us when we would plant, weed, pick and sale our own sweet corn each year for school shopping money. But as a child you don’t always appreciate the values your parents are trying to instill in you. However, as I approached adulthood, I felt this pull towards Nature. Just like writing, it became a way for me to deal with my thoughts and feelings. More than that hiking, being in the trees, being surrounded by nature helped me explore myself. It helps me recharge, refuel, and reconnect. Reconnect to myself. My thoughts. My passions. My purpose. My beliefs. My dreams. It is on top of a tall hill, or the journey up that mountains where I feel clarity. I feel alive. I feel instinctual. I am in flow with my intuition. Decisions seem clear. There is no second guessing. I just know what to do next. Plus it is completely humbling. When I lived in Colorado I was taken aback by the paradoxical feelings I’d get in the mountains. Part of me felt humbled and small at the majesty and perfection of the giant mountains surrounding me. My problems and worries felt small. I felt small. But then I was also filled with this sense that I was full of potential and possibilities. I felt the world is full of possibilities. I hike to save my soul. To deal. To heal. It is a must.
“It’s taken a lot of effort, time, and energy but I can tell you there is nothing better than a) loving your body wholeheartedly, lumps and bumps and all. b) telling society where they can shove their ideals of beauty.” Taryn Brumfitt
What a freaking powerful statement. What a bold title. How many people believe in the beauty of the world? The beauty of the human body? The perfection of our own body? How scary and freeing that could be. I’ve struggled with body image for a long time. Only recently have I begun to look at it honestly. For over a decade my family ran a fitness center focused on weight loss. For ten years I watched myself yo-yo. Up and down. Up and down. I identified myself by my body- I felt constantly judged by my body. I judged myself by my body. I was told to lose weight- it’s not good for business. I strove so hard to be the perfect weight, the perfect size, the perfect body fat percentage. It was never enough- I was never enough. Even when I reached my goal, it still didn’t feel like enough. I developed major complexes. I felt like I was unlovable if I was not skinnier. I developed dysfunctional relationships with food. With the way I dressed. With my body. I hated eating in front of others. I felt guilty for eating, period, after a point. How do you come back from the self-loathing? How do you develop a healthy relationship with your body? How can you love yourself alone at home, and out in public, in the streets? How do I balance being a spiritual person in a physical world? How do I love myself today as I am ?
Dr. Dyer talks about planes. Most of us never leave the physical world we live in. We see value in physical looks, how much money we have, how much stuff we’ve collected, the size of our homes, our jobs. We let what we have define us. How limited. Are we not more than what your see? Are we not more than a number on a scale? More than a number on a bank account? What if we shift our way of thinking?
Today I look in the mirror and look for the good. What a stunning girl! What a beautiful, healthy, strong, flexible body I see looking back at me. What strong legs, which can carry me on a 3 hour hike. Legs that have climbed mountains. Legs that pedal for miles on my bike to get me where I need to go. Legs that have rocked Continue reading →
This week I blogged about time and it made me think also of spending time with others. I confess most of my life I’ve been a solitary creature. I’ve got an imagination that has always brought me solace and kept boredom at bay. Being alone is a peaceful, easy place for me. In recent years, however, I’ve come to value my social life. Reading books like Into the Wild and Through a Rock and a Hard Place, I came away from their stories wondering how they came around to the importance of relationships. I truly believe in the: we’re all ONE state of mind. How valuable are these connections I have?
Naturally being a free-spirited kind of girl, I am typically go-with-the-flow. Not usually a planner. I do what I feel. Or I let someone tell me: hey we’re having a party on the _______. Then I just show up. I’ve spent a lot of time letting people come to me. Then I gave excuses. I’m not a planner…. yada yada yada. Bullshit…bullshit….bullshit. Then lately I’ve come around.
Notably it started in December with Tabitha’s birthday. She has always wanted a surprise birthday. So I decided to get all our friends together at her house, where I cooked dinner. Simple and exactly what she wanted…hmm. Lately I’ve found I’ve become quite a social butterfly (at the market I leave every time thinking: who is that? Who is that outgoing, enthusiast, chatty girl? That my friend is you. The true you, in your state of joy and bliss. That’s who you’re meant to be). What I’ve Continue reading →
I have been thinking a lot about time lately. What a precious, magical gift we’ve been given. Am I taking advantage of the short time I’ve been given in this physical life? If I’m being honest the answer is no. The next question then is how do I want to spend my time?
How easily we can get sucked into mindless, frivolous activities. Hours spent watching t.v. series. How dwindled away dicking around on the computer. Time we spent not thinking positively or about our dreams. Hours spent doing things that are not in our passion circle. Delaying something for another time. I will workout tomorrow. The only moment guaranteed to us, is this present time. Why don’t you go dip into a yoga class or hit a trail. Why not start writing your book today. The most inspiring tales begin by starting. We all begin at page 1. Why not work on page 1, chapter 1 now? Why not call up your friends and get together? Why do we feel entitled to an endless supply of time? Because we’re afraid? I have quite a few tattoos and one of the ones on my ribcage says:
Don’t fear death, fear life unlived.
Clearly I am of the mind and I want to remind myself, that I am more afraid of not living than I am of dying. This honestly is my biggest fear: existing. Never going for it. Never starting to create my dreams (actually never even starting the process of dreaming, how many people I’ve met who are too afraid even to dream). Never telling people I love them. Never feeling the bliss of truly living. The miracle of presence.
So when I think of time, I love my life, but I want to spend more time in the miracle moments. I want to spend more time doing things I am passionate Continue reading →
In reality, I have a long list of fears waiting to limit me at any given moment. Most of them can be related to the fear of failure, the fear of success, and the fear of change– but there are countless variations. Name a fear, and I’ve probably had it at some point. The difference between being fearless and standing up to your fears lies in refusing to allow your fears to make your decisions. ~Chris Guillebeau
#2 in Gabby Bernstein’s Miracles Now says to “Clean Up Your Side of the Street”. Be aware. Be aware how often we choose fear over happiness. Gabby then prompts you (me) to write a list of your atop ten biggest fears. GET HONEST. How do these fears play a role in your life? Do the rule of the roost? Do they keep you in a stable comfort zone? LOOK. Look at each fear. Next Gabby says to write down a reason you believe this fear is true. Gaining awareness we should start to see that our fears are:
Why? Why are you doing this? I ask myself this as my Beauty Bliss project continues to evolve. My cousin Beth and I are co-creating to make A BeYOUtiful World happen. The goal is to take 500 photos of different women and to hold a gallery at the end. As I take off with my camera, I ask myself why? That’s what others will want to know. Why are you doing this? What is the purpose of this project? When I hit myself with this one, the answer came swiftly and clearly:
I want to do this because I think we should spend more time empowering each other than judging one another. Than judging ourselves. I want us to think positively about ourselves.
I want people to see what I see. I want them to feel what I feel. I want them to feel their potential. To know they’re awesome. To feel abundant. To feel beautiful. I’ve said before that I enjoy drawing portraits. It’s the ‘flaws’ the little imperfections and quirks that excite me to sketch someone. Those subtle differences that make us who we are. They are perfect. You are perfect. I am perfect. Right now in this time and space stop and feel it. Feel how right this moment is. Feel the possibilities flowing through you. Feel the joy. In this moment you can be enough.
Besides the picture there are two sentences to fill in: