I think one of the most courageous acts we can make is to be ourselves, unapologetically and completely. To own our stories. To own our flops. To own our strengths. To be true to ourselves 100%. To live our dreams. To create our own vision. To express our actual feelings. To be vulnerable. To be weird. To be bold. To be different. To share. To share our heart. To share our souls. To sing out loud. To dance, even when others are watching. To paint our masterpiece. To write a badass book. To believe in ourselves. To believe in our potential. To say, “yes you can.”
One of my biggest challenges, but one of my biggest strengths, I believe is being myself. In a world, where others (media, society, family, friends) are trying to mold us into someone else, marching to your own beat is not really a standard. Again I say, “where is this rule book everyone is following to live a perfect, ideal, successful life.” Because I may believe in One and one love, but I think it is one love in billions of different, unique varieties. I’ve been told I was smart my whole life. You should be a doctor I’ve been told. You shouldn’t live in a shed. You shouldn’t ride your bike. Why don’t you get a ‘real’ job? When I say I want to go on certain travel adventures or hiking or color my hair purple or go hunting, one of my own dear friends like to tell me ‘no.’ I still say yes. Thanks for looking out for me, but I do not want to live a safe life. I want to live my life. Sing my song. Life is too precious to be anything other than yourself. To take bold action and risks. I’ve got this tattoo on my ribs that says:
Don’t fear death. Fear life unlived.
Do I believe this? Damn right I do. Think about that preciousness, be a little selfish for a moment. Yes your family is important and your parents brought you into this world, but they have lived their life, should you not then be able to create your own unique experience? I think some of my favorite compliments are that I go for it. I put myself out there no matter what others say. I do my own thing. Why thank you. It scares the shit out of me sometimes. Going out in a bold outfit (like high-waisted leopard bell bottom pants with suspenders, a sequin baret, and bright pink lip stick), I question myself. And then I go back: do you like what you’re wearing? Do you like what you’re doing. If the answer is yes, then go for it all the way. Rock it with confidence. This is your life. Shouldn’t you like it? Look at it from the outside. Yes pretend you’re an outsider watching your life. How is it? Are you envious? Do you like your style? Do you like your job? Do you like your friends? Do you like your hobbies and how you spend your spare time? Do you like your health? Do you like what you’re eating. If you’re answering no’s, then I think maybe a change will do some good.
I remember a conversation I had with my soul sister and little cousin Angelica. She told me that something she admires about me is that I do my own thing, in spite of what people say. She is adorable. Period, big dimples, bubbliness for days. Cute, cute, cute style. I see her as a stylist. I see her working for a fashion magazine. Living on the east coast. What is she studying? Her parents are paying, so she is taking the safe route and studying accounting. Is she passionate about it? Is it her true dream? I had friends study business, they wanted a well-paying job. They’re still looking for a job that they don’t hate. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we do things that don’t bring us joy? Why don’t we go after our passions? Why work a job to get by? Why work to make a living, for a life we’re not enjoying? Why not let our work, be our purpose? Why not do something we love? Is it because we want safety and comfort? Is it a need for control. Are we afraid of being different? Are we afraid of what others will think? Are we afraid of our potential? Are we afraid of falling? Of failing? Are we afraid to be vulnerable and be ourselves, because maybe it will hurt less if we are liked less for being who others want us than to be, rather than people not liking us when we are being true? We all want to be loved, right? I feel deep down all humans have the same core desires: to be loved, to feel significant, to be happy, to feel like we have a purpose. Why are we trying to be somebody for someone else than? But flip it. Do you not want to be loved for who you truly are? I do. For instance I like being positive. I like letting go and being in the flow. Do I get back lash? Hell yes. But I also attract people. People who appreciate these qualities. It brings up others energies. Jamie at works claims she is calmer working with me. It is easy to get caught up in anger, jealous, judgement and shit talking. It is a challenge to stay calm, positive and to look for the good. But I choose to do it anyways. That is part of my truth. My energy.
I think being yourself comes with accepting others as well. It goes hand-in-hand. The whole radical self-love thing. Start with yourself. Love you. Look in the mirror. Say it! Feel it. Embody it. Love your thoughts. Love your body. Then when you see others, see yourself in them. Accept them. Love them. Give them a chance. Believe in them. Is that not what we need. For others to believe in us and our potential. Believe in yourself then. I am the first to believe in myself. If I don’t, who the hell else is going to think I’m so fabulous. Be content and live your truth. Allow radical self-love to give you the courage to be unapologetically you. Study what you want. Go for your dream job. Travel to your top destinations (I want to go to New Zealand, Oregon, Spain, I want to hike the Appalachian Trail- they are my dreams, my destinations, places that speak to me). Love who you want. Define success for yourself. Wear what you want to wear, be in clothes that you like. Live where you want. My dreams are a little sustainable cabin in the woods, for some it may be a chic apartment in a big city or a big mansion. Spend time doing what brings you joy.
Life is to short, magical, and precious to play it safe. To create a half-true life. Playing the role in someone else’s script. Write it yourself. Be courageous. Say what’s on your mind. Paint. Dance. Sing (loudly). Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Start a dream. Embrace that inner weirdo, because the truth is we’re all a little weird in our own ways, why not own it out loud. Why not live out loud?