I have been moving. After spending three-years in my little shed, I have ventured into town into the basement of my friend Chelsey’s new home. After spending so much time simplifying, I am now faced with the temptation of wanting. When my friends are going to TJMaxx or Hobby Lobby or searching the internet for more stuff, my ego sometimes gets caught up. I’ll catch myself thinking, “maybe I need more clothes or candles or more _______ (insert something material).” In a world, rather a society, where we are constantly striving and wanting more, how can we want less? How can we be content with what we have? When do we stop buying more stuff?
This really has been on my mind the last month. What I’ve found to accompany the want is more future tripping. So how do you step away from it? How does the law of attraction want and what do I want thing play into this? Life is happening now. How can I be present and fulfilled in the present moment if I’m thinking of future acquirements and goals obtained? It is an ebb and flow in my thoughts. Here is what I have found for myself.
I need to go Danielle LaPorte style and ask myself, “how do I want to feel.” Boom this is where the journey all starts. Rather than ask what do I want to buy, ask how you want to feel. Shift. Transition. Perspective turn. I find in asking myself how I want to feel, I realize that I am capable of those feelings now. I cannot forgot what simplifying and living in my shed did to my perspective. When I gave up all my shit and taking care of it, I gained life. It is amazing the abundance awaiting you when you let go. Letting go of my material possessions, brought my soulful possessions to the surface. My gratitude soared. My appreciation for my family and friends multiplied. It filled my heart up 100%. My gut and intuition voices spoke louder and clearer. I got in tune with myself, with my dreams, with my passions, with what drives me. I spent my days doing more of what made me happy. I hiked. I wrote. I started my own baking business. I started speaking my truth. I started owning my authenticity. I valued time more. I started loving more. I gained freedom. Freedom to travel. To say yes. To fly.
We are surrounded by ads encouraging us to buy the newest fashions. To buy the newest foods. To buy the next trendy gadget. More. More. Our society tells us we need more. We compare ourselves to our neighbors, to our facebook friends. We want the same and more. How have we come to let physical world and stuff show value for us as humans? When the fancy car, clothes, house, etc. are gone, are we still worthy? Are we good human beings? Are we kind, are we loving? Are we happy with all this stuff? Because I find we easily get sucked into a spiral of wanting and having more. We buy for the high and then we have to buy more to get the feeling. Why does happiness have to have something attached to it? Can we not be merely happy? I think we can. I am frequently happy, for no more reasons than that’s how I want to feel.
I think then, it is kind of revolutionary not to get into the more is better societal bullshit. We all have choices. We can all take action. When I went to get a new phone plan, I got the simplest plan, just a nice little talk and text. As the associate tried to sale me more, “you’re not listening I want to keep it simple.” Considering phones are supposed to connect us more, I think they are more of a distraction. Initially it was weird not to have my auto pilot email check or facebook feed or instagram browsing. But then I sit at dinner or around the house with my friends and I know I made the right decision. Ever gone out and everyone spends the entire night on their phone? It drives me nuts and I frequently want to take a picture of them all engrossed on their phones. What? What is so damn important on their phones, who are they talking to that can’t wait. Why is there facebook feed more relevant than the friends they’re spending time with now? Put down your fucking phone and be present for a moment (yes I’ve actually told them this). I, Brittany, am sitting right in front of you. Wanting to spend time with you. Can we be present for a moment? Gone is the art of actual conversations. You know, where someone talks to you and you listen. And I mean listen. Not just with your ears, but with your heart, your energy, your enthusiasm, your eyes. Where they talk, you absorb and it goes back and forth. Where you look each other in the eyes. Where you talk with your hands to convey your points. My friend Tab wonders how I know her so well and read her like a book. I listen. I watch. When she talks, I am there. As Thoreau says:
“The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.”
So when I catch myself thinking I don’t have enough. I stop. I stop and think of what I do have. I am so blessed. I am enough. This life is such a beautiful, magical gift. What I really want is to feel. I want to feel alive. I want to burn with passion. I want to love. I want to love with all my heart. I want to be enthusiast, radiant, vibrant, healthy, positive, energetic, effervescent. I want to be kind. I want to live with purpose. I want to listen. I want to connect. God I want to connect. I want to be in nature. I want to be centered. I want to be authentic. I want to be true to myself. I want to do my best. I want to feel like the world and universe is good. That I am being taken care. I want these more than I want to spend money on new clothes. I want experiences. I want adventure. I want to wake up next to my nephews. I want to laugh with my mom. I want to be in the kitchen, filling it with yummy baked smells. I want to be there when the twins walk for the first time. I want to be there on Thursdays with my mom, grandma, and aunt when we walk. I want to be there for all my cousins wedding. I want to hug my brother. I want to tell my dad I love him. I want to be there next to my vending family on the weekends. I want to feel the sunshine on my face. I want to feel the rain wash over me. I want to fly. I want to fall. I want to create. I want to breathe. I want to inspire. I want to write. I want to climb.
I think the problem is not wanting, but in what we want. Does our outside world, define us and internal richness. You are a treasure. Golden on the inside. What do you really want? I want less stuff and more life please!