This week I blogged about time and it made me think also of spending time with others. I confess most of my life I’ve been a solitary creature. I’ve got an imagination that has always brought me solace and kept boredom at bay. Being alone is a peaceful, easy place for me. In recent years, however, I’ve come to value my social life. Reading books like Into the Wild and Through a Rock and a Hard Place, I came away from their stories wondering how they came around to the importance of relationships. I truly believe in the: we’re all ONE state of mind. How valuable are these connections I have?
Naturally being a free-spirited kind of girl, I am typically go-with-the-flow. Not usually a planner. I do what I feel. Or I let someone tell me: hey we’re having a party on the _______. Then I just show up. I’ve spent a lot of time letting people come to me. Then I gave excuses. I’m not a planner…. yada yada yada. Bullshit…bullshit….bullshit. Then lately I’ve come around.
Notably it started in December with Tabitha’s birthday. She has always wanted a surprise birthday. So I decided to get all our friends together at her house, where I cooked dinner. Simple and exactly what she wanted…hmm. Lately I’ve found I’ve become quite a social butterfly (at the market I leave every time thinking: who is that? Who is that outgoing, enthusiast, chatty girl? That my friend is you. The true you, in your state of joy and bliss. That’s who you’re meant to be). What I’ve learned is:
- Stop waiting for others to ask you to show up. INITIATE. If I find myself thinking of someone or something I’d like to do: call them, text them. “Hey I was thinking of you, let’s get together, catch up, and play tennis.”
- ASK.I realize this is a fear I have. Asking, especially for help or the fear of being unlovable or not worthy of time: oh they’ll be too busy or they won’t want to. STOP MAKING ASSUMPTIONS. Don’t say no for someone else. Have fun with this fear instead. It is easy to send out a text or to pick up the phone and call. Shift your way of thinking: it’s not hard, it’s easy.
- Keep it simple! Time together doesn’t have to be extravagant or expensive or world travel. Recently I’ve been bow hunting and hiking with the boys an my dad (we had our first annual bow shoot at Hawthorne Park for instance). I’ve taken my nephews for bike rides around the neighborhood or to the park to play frisbee golf. I’ve been mushroom hunting with my cousins or to yoga. I’ve made dinners for my friends. I’ve been to zumba and out for wine with my sister and cousins. I’ve strolled the twins around the park. I’ve had movie nights in with my brother and sister-in-law. And tomorrow I’m going hunting with my brother. I’ve just popped out and chatted with my grandma Paulin. Last weekend I played catch with a friend I hadn’t seen in months and this weekend we’re heading up to a state park. I’m going biking with Angelica tomorrow. I told my friend Mary I wanted to interview her artist friend for BeYOUtiful and so last week we paid Sharon a visit in her home. See, easy and simple activities.
Make an effort to gather together. Just ask.