“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”~Marianne Williamson
I really think this is true. I recently finished a book by Jack Kornfield and he talks about paying attention to our thoughts. We have a constant flow of thoughts running through our head. There are thoughts of anger, bitterness, jealousy, doubt and fear, as well as love, joy, happiness, belief. To me we can think all this spectrum of emotions, but it is the power we give to our thoughts that matter. Do I give power to the angry thoughts? Do I give power to the fear ego-driven thoughts? The ego is a part of us, how much do we let it run our life though? What is our relationship to the ego? So I’ve been watching my thoughts, like a fun little game, it is entertaining sometimes just to listen to the ramblings.
Last week I had my market. Holy cow I meant to be at the market. It feels so good! So good to be heading towards my bigger dreams. So good to be out there, doing what I love, what I’m passionate about, what brings me joy. It feels good to be in the community, making new connections and having radical conversations with terrific people. I left on the biggest high. As the day progressed though I paid attention to those other thought in my head: this won’t last, you don’t deserve you. It told me people were judging me. I chose not to get caught up in them. I am living my dreams. I deserve this. I am only at the beginning of my journey (which actually terrifies me a little more).
That’s right even though the doubt is present, the real potential scares me more. Putting myself out there, having people sample my food, terrifies me slightly. Actually living my dreams and feeling like I deserve them is more of a challenge. I used to try to be somewhat invisible, here I am putting myself out there, breaking down big walls that I built within myself. I go to work at the bakery in the morning and think: I could just do this. Or I’m doing my taxes and I think: just having W2’s working for someone else would be easier than having my own business. I think I could spend more time hiking if I wasn’t such a dreamer. If I didn’t have projects I could just hike and hike. I wouldn’t have to drive Beauty Bliss or make myself vulnerable promoting Blis Delish. I wouldn’t have to write. I could just go to work, hike, and sleep. But then I go back to those dreams and they burn. I love them so much. They make me feel so alive. So even though my potential scares me, it drives me. I want to live with purpose more than I want to live with fear. So I need to pay attention to my thoughts. Give power to the higher vibrational thoughts. Believe in and go on the journey of infinite possibilities.