Connect MORE. This has sounded repeatedly in my head the past year. It is on the upper tier of what I want to attract: relationships, connections, love. And I am not the only one. What is the one of the core fears within us all? That we are unlovable. So how do we bring more loving connections into our lives?
I went from Colorado, where I spent a majority of my time by myself. Then I come home and I seem to be surrounded by people. I confess my initially adjustment was not smooth sailing. But then one day I woke and it slammed me: I WANT to stay here. Why? Well I do enjoy home, but the people are what matter to me. They are here. I want to be here with them, having fun and growing together. Again and again I am reminded of ALL the radical people I have surrounding me right now.
I do enjoy the time I have alone. I can rock a solo venture like nobodies business. I value hikes in the woods, where I can reconnect to Me, my dreams, my purpose, and my beliefs. But I also realize now, that this soul refueling, makes my connections stronger, it makes them better, it makes me better. I can greet them with my best self.
I want to make more time for my friends and families. This holiday season reasserts this. With a plethora of birthdays and celebrations, the time I spend with them, fills me with such joy. Forget stress and worry over gifting and planning. Just do it. Value the time. The moment. The memories. The laughter. The sharing. The hugs. The smiles. Plan time to do fun activities. Have nights in together. Go out to dinner. Go to movies. Go sledding with your nephews. Have a girls night. Take your parents out to lunch. Go chop down a tree with your brother. Take family photos for your sister. Play cards. Be present in the moment: that is a freaking blessing right there.
Connections to me are about learning, growing, and changing together. They’re about communicating. About listening, talking, asking questions, having the ‘tough’ talks. They are being open and recipient to the other person mind, body, and spirit. They’re about being yourself 100%, but also allowing them to be themselves, judgment free. Only unconditional love for that I AM at their core, not for how they look, how much money they make, or how they can how you are perceived. Connections are about vulnerability. You can be naked (metaphorically speaking), cry, laugh, share your fears, dance, fart in front of them. Real relationships face challenges. When you get married it’s for better or worse, for sickness and health, for richer or poorer. These strengthen the connection. Going through the tough times enhances your appreciate for the good times. The easy breezy stuff is fun, but the things that tests you, build you and your bond. I have been through so much with my parents the last year, we are Better. I have never felt so open. So honest. So vulnerable. It is a radical relationship. Connections are about a journey together. Not needing someone to complete you or make you whole. YOU ALREADY ARE A WHOLE PERSON. You grow and learn together. You pick them up. You give them a hand. You stay. You forgive. You love. And they do the same to them.
This is what I want. I want connections. You can see this shift in my previous loner love. Before I contemplated all these radical hikes, adventures, and travel by myself (and I have done many of solo trips). But now, I want to experience this with others. I want to travel with my friends and family. I want to meet and make new friends. I want memories and new experiences with them. I want to discover and connect simultaneously.
So do it! Connect. Listen. Ask. Be Honest. Grow. Love.
- “Let the love out.” (theabbyrae.wordpress.com)
- Connection (authortlgray.wordpress.com)
- A Vision Of Peace: The Four questions That Could Change The Way You See Life. (nakanno1.wordpress.com)