The Busy Trap: A Dream Killer

Busy“I’m too busy.”

How often do we hear this? How often do we say this? When did we become too busy for our own lives? Too busy to spend time with our friends? Too busy to spend time with our families? Too busy to have conversations. Too busy to give time to another human beiing, talking and looking right at us, who is breathing and going through life just like us? Who wants to connect to us? Who wants to be loved? When did we become to busy to laugh, play or do anything remotely close to having fun? When did we start scheduling and itinerarizing our lives? Scheduling moments and memories? When did we stop being spontaneous? Give me a second let me check my schedule first. Let me pencil you in here for 20 minutes, because that’s all I have time for. Life is passing us by. We can’t get back this time we spend being busy. We can’t get back missed Holidays and stepping-stones with our children. We can’t take back the time we invested in the ‘real’ world, rather than investing in ourselves and our dreams. Into goals. Into creating a life that truly brings us joy. Because you know what, you can spoil your kids with gifts forever, but they would have rather had you sitting at their baseball game. For what?

What the hell are we so busy with that we can’t be present in our own damn lives? Why not make the most of our time? Why procrastinate and defer living? Instead of filling our time with busy work and things we need to do, why not fill it with our passions, with people? Why not take strides towards our dreams, rather than putting them on a box, on a self to be opened at a later time? Why let them collect dust? Why not share them? Why not build them? Why not take a freaking moment, one second today, right NOW to think about them. To ask for them. To believe in them. Why the deferred life plan? When you’re done sacrificing for the life you’ll one day have. The travels you’ll eventually get around too. All the time you’ll have with your kids, why not now? Because you know what, time does continue. You will age, your kids will grow. Those adventures are out their waiting. Waiting on you to wake and decide you want to participate in your life, rather than give excuses, for why you can’t. You have power. You can make choices. But excuses and blame are our friends. A safety net. A big ass comfort zone that we live in, that we pack up and move into. But all this time you spend in the grind to build a life, are you growing? Are you learning? Are you truly gaining experience? Spending 15 years doing the same job and same thing, is not the same as spending 5 years pursuing your dreams, falling on your face, being vulnerable, striving, being authentic, and getting better on the way.

Why not spend a little time today to begin building your business, your brand? Writing? Creating? Going to a job you love? Exercising because you feel motivated? Because you like the exercise you’re doing. If you hate running, why do it? Join a yoga class, start hiking, go to crossfit, do something that brings you joy. Why not spend a little time with your family? Why not call up your friends? Go on dates? Eat meals together? Have drinks? Talk? Listen? Laugh? Cry? Hug?

You are the master of your schedule, your time. This is your experience. Your story to write. What do you want to do? How do you want to feel? No, stop and really ask yourself: How do I want to feel? Reflect! Connect with your own existence. Do you want to be happy? Inspired? Passionate? Creative? Helpful? Loving? Compassionate? Strong? Connected?  Now step back, what makes you feel this way?  Do more of the things that make you feel this way. Do more for your dreams.

I want to feel loving and joyful. I dream of writing, cooking, service, hiking, books, photos, projects, beauty, perspective, family, community. All of these mean I work to schedule time for hikes, family, friends, cooking, meditation, my market stand, my blog, building my dreams. I want to write a cookbook, so each day I work on my cookbook. I’m not waiting to live my life, I allow myself to be joyful today. If my friends or family need me, I am there. That’s what matters to me. I am never too busy for them. I am never too busy for my dreams. I am never too busy to laugh, smile, dance, create, listen, give hugs, stop and say ‘I love you.’ What I don’t have  time for is bullshit. For deferred living. For anger. For judgment. For pity. This time- RIGHT NOW- is the only guarantee. Live it. Don’t be so busy spinning your wheels, deferring dreams and life. Like Thoreau says:

When it is time to die, let us not discover that we have not lived.

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