“Indeed our hearts are golden treasures, but a true tragedy would be to conceal your inner gold because you are afraid of someone stealing it or it falling and breaking. There is no love in fear. The great wisdom of the ages always tells us the more we Love the more of it you receive. Love is not a giving or a taking, it is a state of being – a one way street of allowing, accepting and holding a space for all things to be exactly as they are. Fear not that your heart will be broken or stolen. Love becomes love. Give it away with no expectation of return and soon you will be having a love affair with the whole world!” – Jackson Kiddard
What I have learned thus far at the hospital is this: we are all just human. We have the same core fears. We’re afraid we don’t matter, that we’re insignificant. We all look for meaning and purpose. We want to feel like we are a part of the world. We are afraid we are unlovable. We yearn to be loved, but we think others can’t love us. We don’t deserve to be loved.
So if we have this core fear, how do we deal? We make people feel like matter. We love one another, but also we love ourselves. We fill ourselves with purpose.
When someone comes to me, my objective is to treat them as a person. Not someone who may be sick or dying. They are not their disease, they are more. So when they are in front of you, make them the most important person because in that moment they are. Acknowledge that they are there. Listen, truly listen. Stop thinking you don’t want to be at work. Don’t think about what you’re having for dinner. Don’t consume yourself with worry over what your boyfriend said (or didn’t say). Don’t think of all the places you’d rather be. Focus on where you are. Shut off the internal dialogue. Turn off you phone. Look at them and give them your attention.
Make people feel like they matter, like you love them. Find ways to extend loving gestures. Find ways to connect with them. See them not as someone who’s sick or annoying. Meet them and see them as a person in need of your loving being. Take the chance to extend.
Do it for yourself too. Love you. Know you’re capable not only of giving love, but you’re deserving of receiving it. Connect to yourself. Connect to your purpose. Make your life, each moment, every day, each person, each connection, have meaning. We are all humans, navigating this life experience as best we can. We all want meaning. We all want love. Give it.