A big part of my journey has been to become better at expressing myself. At sharing my thoughts, feelings, and honestly bearing my whole heart and soul sometimes. Vulnerability has been a biggy for me too, especially after reading Brene Brown. I am more willing to lay myself out there. This is me. This is how I feel. This is how I feel about you. I love you. You’re beautiful. You’re perfect. You’re awesome. I’m not afraid to hug. To cry. I want to feel life and all its emotions. Good or bad, how else can I grow? What lesson is this teaching me? I face plant regularly, but each experience makes me a better person.
I think I’m so wrapped up in the journey sometimes, I forget where I’ve come from and how others are. I was the deathly shy girl, who didn’t hug. Who didn’t give compliments. Who didn’t share opinions. Who only told my mom I love her. Who was afraid to be vulnerable. A perfectionist, struggling to be enough. Battling to love myself. Thinking that to be tough, I needed to just keep it all in and shove it down. I clung deep down to worries and problems.
Now I’ve found this place of self-love. A journey everyday to embrace who I am a little more than the day before. To tap into my intuition. To question myself. To be driven by purpose. To be loving, but also to share this with others.
Yesterday my cousin came to me to ask for help writing a letter to her best friend for her birthday. I think everyone can write. Put your heart on the paper. Open up your heart. What do you feel? Write that! Write like you would talk to her. These are the prompts I generally give when asked to help. Follow your heart. But my poor cousin was struggling. ‘You’re better at this kind of thing’ or ‘you’re better coming up with words.’ Excuses rolled out. Self-doubt. But also a fear of vulnerability. It’s scary to put your whole heart out there. To put your own words out there. I get an increased heart-rate every time I go to hit the publish button. Will people like this? Can this really help someone? Can I really inspire? Who am I to think I can write? These are ego, fear-driven thoughts. I shut them up and hit publish anyway. You cannot write ‘wrong’. These are my thoughts, my heart, my experiences. It’s all I have. It’s my best. What more do I need to give? Same thing with my cousin, with any of my friends. With myself. Everything I write, I admit sometimes I have to go back and remind myself: hey Brittany you’re spiritually slacking here, you remember these beautiful words and thoughts? Why don’t you follow them?
If you are doing your best and bearing your heart, that’s all you can do. You are responsible for your expression. The recipient of your love and out poring is responsible for their reaction. But you fought the vulnerability fear and put yourself out there. Way to go. Express yourself. Also, you never know. What harm does it really do to let someone know how you feel?
- Vulnerability (iamlvl.wordpress.com)
- Being Happy and Enough (stephaniestammblog.wordpress.com)
- Vulnerable (theinnerlimits.wordpress.com)
- Authenticity – The Beauty of Vulnerability (learngrowimaginecreate.wordpress.com)