In most instances in life being last is not a coveted position. Our pride and egos want us to be ‘winners’. But being the last child, I have never felt like such a winner. Lately I have truly come to appreciate this life position that I was born into. The last one married. The last one to have children. Growing up, I admit I often felt like a rush. My sister is 7 years older than me. I felt like I was getting left behind. How much more they more experience. I was waiting for the next benchmark in life. I was a competitor. I wanted to do it all and I wanted to be the best. Not being able to do something, or feeling left behind did not work for me. Instead of enjoying being a young innocent 10 year old, I was ready for 18.
Now though, when I push my ego aside, when I settle in to the present moment, this age, this gap doesn’t matter. I see that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Plus it is fun. As the last, I get to be the aunt. I get to appreciate and spend time with my nephews now. I can be the cool aunt. Teach them things their parents don’t know about. I can just enjoy being with them, as they are. I’m not distracted by my own family yet. They are my focus. Plus it’s good training for my future family.
I get to spend time with my parents. I can’t tell you how close I’ve gotten to them the last year. They really are like the best friends to me. Relationships where they really are more than just my disciplinarians. We are past that stage. They let me be myself and they usually support all my crazy endeavors. Go they say. Yes they. Completely open and honest. How freeing it is to be in a relationship where there are no boundaries. Where their are no secrets. Where there is no hiding. You can be yourself explicitly. Each day I get to spend ample amounts of time with my mom, doing what I love. I’ve got a simple life, rich in people, that is what matters to me.
Being last let’s me be free. Free to travel. Free to adventure. Free to love and be the awesome cooky aunt. Last place is not so bad after all. When you can clearly see everyone in front of you. Swept up in a moment. No longer worried about playing catch up. Enjoy the view, being utterly content.