You are Your Problems

Man I have been an inspirational reading fiend from The Untethered Soul to Spirit Junkie to May Cause Miracles to A Course in Miracles. It is so easy for me to get swept up in inspiration and want to share what I read right now. But Sunday I took a step back to let some genuine clarity and calmness sweep over me and take over. Alright in each chapter you’re loving what you’re reading but what is the big picture, the big life lesson. How do you apply and live these life lessons now?

My ~ing activity has been biking. What I have so craftily doing though was creating routes on the flattest surfaces possible. When I was seven I fell off my bike while flying down Tecumseh hill. Ever since I avoid hills. So even though I was doing my ~ing activity, I was still avoiding my fears. I letting them determine where I go in life. So Sunday, I chose. I chose love. I stood at the top of the hill (not nearly as daunting I have to confess at 25 than it was at 7), ready to go. I think the biggest things reason I held myself to flat ground was a fear of falling (or failing), but also a fear of losing control. Even as I started down the hill, I found myself with a death grip on the break. Loosen up Brittany. Stop controlling the situation. What is the worst that can happen? You fall, big whoop, get back up. Starting riding the break in life. Get your head out of the future. Don’t live safely in your dreams. Feel this moment. The rush of the decent. The wind breezing through your hair. Enjoy the world whirling past in greens, blues and blossoming flowers. Live! Laugh, actually throw your head back and let out a belly full of incandescent laughter.

When I step back what I have become enlightened to is this: I am my own problems. I am my own fears. I have created them. If I cling to them, it is by choice. There are only ever two options: love or fear. Now I applaud you for your progress. I would say at least 90% of the time I chose love. I am happy a majority of the time. But this blog is also a place for me to explore that occasional 10%.

My mom lost her cousin last year to cancer. The story she tells me always sticks. The last time she saw Ooch his brother Cheeker ask him what he’s learned. “None of this matters.” He is not saying that life itself is irrelevant. He is saying all the fears and problems don’t matter. All the little worries we carry around with us, all the walls we build to stay safe and protect ourselves, the perceived lives we tried to build are not what matters. What matters in our decisions is that they are based in love (or God, although I know using God or referring to god isn’t comfortable for some, but in most of my spiritual learning, I’ve learned to believe that I am God).

So when I step back into the clarity I: Realize I alone am the creator of my problems and fears. I realize they don’t have to control me, though. I am aware of them, but I chose love instead. From now on I choose miracles. I spend more time in the lightness of love. Be happy and really let go. Stop riding the break. Let go of control. Let life happen and be happy when it does.

“Do what makes you happy, be with who makes you smile, laugh as much as you breathe, and love as long as you live.”

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