Lose Control

Pinned ImageI like goals and direction but sometimes I don’t want them. I want a balance between intention and being. Sometimes I want to not know.  I find with myself and with clients or family and friends we’re frequently exclaiming what we know. We know how to lose weight, we know the bad habits we have. We know, we know, we know. We’ve got life figured out and how it is supposed to be. Yet often we do not live as we know. So sometimes I say f*** it, today, right now I don’t want to know.

Sometimes I take off. Relying on my instincts and intuition. Testing what I feel. What I feel is the path to adventure. It’s like my legs have a predestined knowledge of where to carry me. Where I need to be. Or I’ll get in the car and wait until I get to an exit or a stop sign and pause: which way do I go? I test my father and friends with this. We’re so used to controlling the situation and our lives, that we are uncomfortable when challenged to drop the control of where we’re going. Like we’re free-falling in the moment. We’re not used to the moment. We’re used to the perceived outcome.

The beauty in not knowing is that everything is new. Rather than focusing on a destination, I see. I see everything as if it is new. I am in the moment. I see, I smell, I feel the essence of the trees around me. I notice the corner hole-in-the-wall treasure of a small town store.

Sometimes I don’t want to know. Sometimes I want to be. To be curious. To be brave. To be an explorer. To be happy. To BE.

 

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