I have never felt so clear in my thoughts. More comfortable in my own skin. I’ve never loved myself this much. I feel that at least 90% of the time I feel this way. I feel like this great extraordinary young women that I write about. Sometimes I find myself entertaining thoughts that conflict with this: fear, worry. With all this security and clarity, the one area where I hold myself back the most is finances. I see and feel abundance around me. Surrounded by opportunity. Honestly if I was just looking after myself I would have a thought about money, but owning a business I need it to fulfill my purpose. So I find myself on bill paying day or confronted with these financial set-backs (all lessons for me to learn from) with thoughts I don’t like (and which I am aware that I am creating). But then I think of the post I wrote for work the other day about creating new habits. To deal with or break the cycle of potential worry, fear, or feelings of scarcity, I have to practice or find things that refill me with abundance. Today I was reading some of my old post (yes occasionally I reread my old post to reinspire myself) and it was right there in front of me, I had already written it in The Bigger Picture. Sometimes when we’re going through struggles or things that challenge us, that make us worry, we are consumed by them. We are consumed with our own thoughts. Like when I have clients in the middle of a change, I tell them in the beginning to take a picture because sometimes while you’re changing you forget where you came from because you’re so thick into it. Take a step back.
As I begin backing away from this self-inflicted worry I see it, I regain and grasp that 90%+ high that I’m usually feeling. I see the world. I see myself. I see greatness. I see beauty. And then something miraculous happens. A simple phone call: We’re having a baby, Katie’s pregnant. It’s my brother. I admit normally talking to Cliff on the phone is like pulling teeth, he’s a great guy but he’s quiet and laid back. Grabbing the phone from my dad, his voice is almost unrecognizable, coated and radiating joy over 16 hours away in Indiana. I am put back into my perspective. New Life. New energy. New potential. New chapters. All growing in Katie’s belly. I look at the two of them and my high just keeps climbing, because I know with crystal clarity that they will be magnificent parents. I think of my other two munchkins Gavin and Trenton, who like hiking bring me perspective. Young, pure, barely conditioned, full of love, light, and happiness. They don’t judge you- sure Gavin is going through this ‘trying’ to be an adult thing and will hurl an array of adjectives (I don’t know what it is with boys and poop) of you like it’s an insult but I usually just playfully roll my eyes because they make no sense, although when he told the baby sitter she had hairy boobs as an aunt I had to give him credit on that one. Life isn’t serious or about worry. They’re just being kids, just being boys. More closely connected to their pure beginnings and true selves than we adults are.
Now I have created the habit of going to the mountains to break potential threatening bad thoughts and to stay inspired, when I get back to Terr Haute these little lights give the inspiration that I need.
Break bad thoughts, by just changing them or by creating habits or finding energy that reinstate your inspired state. Step back and find your outlooks of perspective!
BE, Love, Illuminate,
- Creating Greatness (bepaulin.wordpress.com)