Projection, with social networking and persistent connecting we project ourselves into the world. Usually in our better light, our shining moments. We create the picture of how we want our lives to be and be viewed by others. Roses and butterflies. But I wonder is this real? Is it honest? I know that I am guilty of this. I enjoy sharing my most inspirational thoughts and beautiful pictures of the world around me. I want to share this positivity with everyone else, for them to touch it, feel it, and want some of their own. Are their challenges in my life? Is there struggle? Of course there is, do I need to broadcast that to the world? In all honesty, not all of my posts have been rainbows. I have dealt with many thoughts and struggles right here on this blog the last year. They are not all pretty and they are not all fun and triumph. But I do share the darker side of my life and past. When I’m struggling with my thoughts. With being good. When I’m trying to discover who I am. When I know I can do better.
But even though I’ve been dealing with a lot the past few months, I feel that my thoughts are in such a place of clarity and peace for the most part right now (a huge part of that is hiking and connecting with myself). After my friends left one of the biggest lessons I learned was about living by your own means. So often we want to come across as having it all. Living in denial. But I’ve learned I’ve got to be honest with myself and with the people around me. I can’t live up to other standards. I can’t drink champagne on a water budget. And in all honesty I learned this weekend that I like simple. I like my simple life. Sleeping on the floor or in my shed. Minimal possession, gone is my hankering to shop. I like preparing my own food that I cook myself. I enjoy creating period. Fending for myself, serving others and starting with nothing and walking away with an end product inflicted with my thoughts, personality and imagination are rewarding- they provide richness to my life. We went to the Elway for them to eat dinner (that’s another thing about projection because I thought for second of not posting pictures from dinner because then people would think I’m out here living it up eating at 5 star restaurants when I really ate my eggs and fruit I packed beforehand and I was sipping on water watching my friends eat. I hate having to feel like I need to defend myself or my life to others. I can’t judge others because honestly I don’t know what they’ve been through or what they’re thinking. We can see each others projection, but we can’t judge from that. We’re not living it). At the table next to is a father and son. ‘Can you imagine coming to a fancy restaurant like this with your dad and ordering sparkling water and high-class food.’ Honestly (not to judge that kid) I personally would not want that life. I like me, who I am. What I’ve learned and the place I am in right now. I like simplicity and to only possess items with a purpose. The extravagance and excess are just clutter and distraction for me.
I have to live within my own means, and not try to project a life that others are expecting. Or try to live up to someone Else’s life. I have to find what works for me and how I can and like living. I like simplicity, so I can focus on my purpose and direction.