Growing Up

Three girls. Three sets of thoughts. Three different lives. Three different experiences. Three different stories, yet overlapping characters. Three different girls trying to figure life out, yet as 25 year-olds they simultaneously believe they know and they like to tell you ‘I know.’ The more I drive home towards my mountains, away from the other two, as my thoughts flow and clear away the clouds I see how much I’ve grown. How one weekend with your friends, that is supposed to be fun, carefree and partying, can actually teach. Can make you stronger. Can make your friendship stronger.  Can help you grow more. Three girls, three life experiences and thoughts to deal with. Three stories still in the making. Here at the same location and same intersecting junction in our lives.

One post breakup, mind churning, heart healing. One trying new things and overcoming fear, but also reeling over love. Pining for another, yet waiting for the return. One clear in mind but financially tied. All coping, all dealing with our thoughts, all writing and trying to make the most of our experience. Comparing, sharing and trying to help one another. Feeling the energy, letting it flow and evening each others. Complementing and completing the other. Growing together. Getting older, dealing with ‘adulthood’. Life happens and you have to deal with it? But how? Struggles, tests and road blocks pop up, how do you get past?

As I drive back towards my mountains I can’t help but cry, because I am amazed. Despite the fact that my car broke down and I had to spend my limited funds to pay for it, I had to be grateful for life. For my beautiful friends that I had just left. Grateful for how much I’ve grown since I’ve been here. How Dad and I have grown. How I realized I will miss him. How much me and my friends and our relationships grew in one weekend. More depth added. I am shocked at how much I have learned and am overwhelmed by the thought of future growth and what it holds for me.

Three girls looking for a good time. But its the moments in between, the unplanned moments that I will remember the most. Sitting on the hotel floor looking up at Shadow as I learn more of her story, her past, part of what makes her unique. It’s finishing our hike in the snow at Green Mountain with Tab, where we are able to open up. To share what is going on in our lives. Where we want our lives to go. Our deepest dreams, our hidden secrets. Everything on the table, an unbelievable honesty. I can be me, she can be Tab and Shadow can be Shad. No judgement. Just love. Protection. A yearning for the best for each other. Wanting to help, but knowing that we have to write the next chapter, and although we can be there for support, we can’t write their story. Gone are the last shreds of myself I had hidden: an embarrasssment about money. Take down that wall and be honest with them, with myself. Living by my own means and what I can afford.

Because really in life those sum of in-between moments are what counts. The announcement that I am going to be an Aunt is richness. Getting pictures of my nephews in their Halloween costume is richness. Sitting on the couch watching library DVDs with Dad is richness. Hugging my mom in two weeks is richness. Being honest with myself. Being honest with my friends. These kinds of realizations allow me to grow. Before I would be afraid. Afraid of letting others get this close to me. Gone is the fear, leaving raw honesty and pure relationships.

Thank you to my friends for visiting me. For excepting and loving me unconditionally as I am. Building up my thoughts and relationships fills me richness!

BE, Love, Illuminate,

Brittany

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