Trail Blazer

I’m gonna like me wearing flowers and plaid. I have my own style. I don’t follow some fad. I’m gonna like me letting off a little self-esteem.

This post is inspired by my beautiful Aunt Cher, who I have always held in high regard as a splendidly awesome woman. She sent me this message, I said I was going to write a post on it and this morning at the park this post began to develop and write itself.

I realize that I spent a large amount of time the last 24 years pleasing others. Not wanting to step on toes, blending in, hiding, afraid. The last few years I have really focused on discovering. Discovering and divulging into: who is Brittany and what does she believe? What does she like? What does she like to wear? What does she like to spend her time doing? How does she want to treat other people? Finally squashing the self that thinks constantly of what others think or want. Fearlessly pursuing life on my own path. Like the writing says, I’m not afraid to wear plaid and flowers (which is pretty true my style borders-okay it crosses- the eclectic threshold).

Lately I’ve been struggling with my thoughts around my father. He wants to help. He wants me to be better, yet I fight. My thoughts take it as correcting. What I realized at the park today is how I want to make others better. I’m not bragging but people often tell me I inspire them and Tab has said I’m the best person she knows. To encourage others to be better, all I can do is live the best version of myself as I can. Not to instruct others how to live their life or that they’re doing something wrong, that they’ve failed or made a mistake or they won’t succeed if they continue on their path. That’s preposterous, the idea that you can fail at life. There is no rule book on exactly how to live life. There is only your own path. There are no ‘mistakes’ only experiences. Experiences provide great lessons. I want, I need to create my own experiences, thus, not be told how or what I should do. Just like I cannot tell others how to live their lives, I must merely focus on being the best Brittany I can. Sometimes I’ll slip up, but don’t deny me the opportunity to learn a lesson. I live for and lust for the lesson. Yes someone may have more experience, but they got that way by making their own experiences, and so must I.

The world isn’t black and white. The beauty of the world lies in its uniqueness and the fact that we always have a choice of how our story goes. There are billions of books in the world and we must write our own, there is no co-author, take control of how your story goes. The world is not monotone then, but vibrantly colorful. Rather than just seeing what’s in front of you: soar in the blue skies, nuzzle in the green grass, climb and grasp the brown tree, create and imagine in the white puffs of clouds, bask in the yellow glow of the sun and sputter in awe at its pink sunsets. See all the hues, across the spectrum. Mix the plaid with the floral. Fearlessly dance to that own elicit drummer in your head, pounding out YOUR beat, just keep moving across the dance floor blazing your own path!

BE, Love, Illuminate,

Brittany

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