In an attempt to spread Monday cheeriness and joy, I ended up teaching myself a lesson and again testing my ‘character’. It started out with a Justin Beiber card, some turtle chex mix and a diet Pepsi. For an extremist like myself, this act of kindness was not enough. The previous day I had baked some coconut flour cupcakes for Tab. At the time I’d felt like I’d made too many and wanted to give them away. Well yesterday I decided to act. With a sign in hand and some nervous energy we set out to try and give-away my cupcakes. Quick note: I used to be crazy shy. I would not talk on the phone or stand in line at a concession but have someone else do it. So many would be surprised by my boldness as I skipped up to a poor unsuspecting couple walking down Ohio. ‘Happy Monday! My name is Brittany and I’ve baked some healthy cupcakes and want to spread Monday joy and the greatness of being alive.’ Needless to say I got a ‘She’s crazy look.’ I realize that many 2o year olds aren’t bouncing around ranting about life and handing out cupcakes. Actually most people in general aren’t gallivanting around talking about the wonderment of life. They probably thought I was high or a little mentally disturbed, but the that’s who I am. The important thing is that I tried.
My oblivious/obnoxious energy is really not what struck me the most: fear. Yesterday was a day filled with conversations of fear, so of course a simple act of handing out cupcakes added to the list. There was the high and the build up of nerves to ask the individual, but then there’s the moment of panic where you wait for the answer. The prospect of rejection in this venture was extremely high (apparently people don’t like random cupcake handouts from exuberant girls jumping out of their car to wish them Happy Monday’s). I realized that basically 99.8% of my previous life was dominated by fear of rejection. It is so easy to keep your mouth shut. To keep your vulnerability. Then people can’t judge you or so no. What’s so wrong with no? Are we so spoiled and entitled that we think the world and people owe us. For our lives to cruise along perfectly with no road blocks? What’s the harm in asking? Just to possibly here the word no? So what. Move on, if someone says no you have to keep on trucking until you get the yes. But don’t let fear keep you from ever leaving the ground.
In closing I don’t recommend trying to hand out free Monday cupcakes, but I do recommend to push through fear. Make yourself vulnerable and don’t be afraid of rejection. No is not the end all, there are many paths in life, take another. Stay true to yourself and be joyous. Spread it to others, if they want to be happy is then up to you but you got the ball rolling. Happy Tuesday, it’s a beautifully overcast day in Terre Haute to contemplate fear at a coffee shop and share it with everyone else. Breathe and Be.
BE, Love, Illuminate,