Although I may try to describe love
when I experience it I am speechless.
Although I may try to write about love
I am rendered helpless;
my pen breaks and the paper slips away
at the ineffable place
where lover, loving and loved one.
Every moment is made glorious
by the light of Love.
I can’t say that I’ve ever been one to dabble into poetry or read it for pleasure, but Dr. Dyer quotes Rumi so much that I found myself staring at the public library’s selection of Rumi poetry trying to decipher which one to pick one. This morning I woke with no definite plans, but the Rumi book called to me. In his writing and feeling the pressures of father’s day, it began to speak to me. I know that my father (much like my mother), would not want me to get him anything, so what to do? I’ve written about him before, but everyday I wake with new eyes and a new view, so naturally my view of him is constantly changing (as is he). As I was reading Rumi, I kept applying the poems to my life, to my father. He more than anyone in my life, has introduced and nurtured this spiritual journey. We run parallel paths, although never identical (we are our own individuals and have learned to share and respect each others thoughts). It was him who started my spiritual training, taking me away from all the research books and focusing on the power of the mind and thought. My Dad is constantly changing and people have varied opinions of him, but the thoughts of others have never been his concern, he is who he is and if we truly follow the teachings then we shouldn’t judge (this is a major one that he works on too). I have never seen someone work so diligently towards making themselves better and pushing others to do the same. Me and him have been going back and forth on this for a while. His belief is that the purpose of a friend is to make you better. My argument is that I don’t want to pressure my friends or let others affect my mindset, if I want to be better than I simply must be. I still believe this, but this morning something else struck me as well. He is constantly asking what he can do to make me better and I just shove it in his face (this is the truth and the blunt honesty is definitely a trait I picked up from him, I’m aware of my own lapses or unawareness of being my higher self). That damn ego wants to fight him and we have been going back and forth. I resist and then avoid. He is my voice of truth, calling out the things I don’t want to see. Instead of letting him help, I headstrongly believe that I can be like Trenton: I do it myself. It’s okay to want to make myself better, but if someone else wants to help should I really being resisting that?Do I need to place the world on my shoulders? Are we not all just having a temporary human experience? Are we not all connected? Are we not all God? Why do I then feel that I have to do everything alone? In doing so I fall out of harmony; I need to be back in balance. There is nothing wrong with letting someone else help, and here my ego has been fighting it tooth and nail. It’s like mom says: we have got to communicate. I need to actually listen and follow the Four Agreements: don’t take what he says personally, but take what he says and apply it to make myself better. He is truly a stunning man. A grown kid, striding back to being childlike and discovering his true self. He told me not that long ago that he wanted to be more like my brother, Cliff. Who when asked his opinion of others says: I don’t know. Like I’ve said in the past Cliff is a pure, child soul too, living in non-judgement. Dad embodies living in the now, and like me tends to be a bit of an extremist (like repeatedly listening to Tim McGraw’s ‘Live Like You Were Dying or screaming professions of his godly nature). Telling my nephews how awesome they are. He is passionate, and his love of life and desire to live is inspiring. People can say what they want, but they can’t deny this. Regardless of outcome or reward, he strives to live his passion and serve others, thanking his clients everyday for the opportunity to make him better. How can you argue or not love someone who has a fight with you one moment and then says how blessed they were for the opportunity to see you, to be challenged? Me and him butt heads sometimes, but then we get over it: I’m sorry or that was silly. That was then and this is now. Now I love you, now I don’t judge you. The beauty is that today and in this moment we have a chance to be better than who we were yesterday. I can change, who I was yesterday is not who I have to be today. Right now I have the chance and opportunity to change my negative thought into a positive one. He has ingrained these thoughts in my head. This appreciation for life and the here and now. How far our relationship has come and grown. That I can talk to him about anything, that we can improve each other’s lives. In two months we’ll get to grow even more when we take off, just the two of us to Colorado. No mom, but me and him. Exploring and creating a new life, with a new opportunity to serve, to travel together, to challenge each other. I am so excited, but today I am thrilled to share this (and him) with you. He is an extraordinary and like Rumi says, words and writing are not sufficient for the love that I feel (which he has taught me). Closing with another Rumi poem fitting for a man who is who he is:
You don’t resemble anyone. You’re not the
bride of the groom. You
don’t fit in a house with a family.
You’ve left the closed-in corner
where you lived. You
are as you are, and indescribable
message coming on the air.
Be, Love, Illuminate,