I’m pretty self aware now and can tell when I’m being a brat (by my own standards). It’s one thing to think of all the positive things, but another to FEEL them. Watching an interview with Thich Nhat Hanh by Oprah, she comments how at peace he seems all the time. Granted he’s a monk with lots of practice, I am a mere infant in my practice of being. My inexperience shows with my impatience to BE peace all the time (thinking too much). Most of the time I honestly feel inspired, but sometimes I face challenges with a less than graceful approach (bratiness). I know in my life, though, I am on the cusp of ‘getting it’. I just have to take the jump, these challenges are there to make me better, to fully connect. Yesterday I found myself with an internal battle, where it got in my head: is manifesting enough? I say my affirmations, why do things seem to feel like they’re going the other way? Maybe because their is unconscious doubt that this is what I want. Maybe unconscious thoughts of wanting or trying to have things work out instead of letting them just be or giving them time to workout. That pesky impatience where I want things to resolve now, rather than truly believing that what we need is on the way. Breathe, patience Brittany.
Obviously my thoughts are the culprit here. I have something to learn/gain here that I would see once the brat is out of the way. Today’s task to identify the symptom and self heal. Just like diseases are the bodies way of healing, these perceived challenges are a way of healing too.
- Problem: I did not get my check and have no money in the bank (negative thoughts popping up saying life is not fair and why is being good not enough?)
Thought: I tell myself that money is irrelevant, so why am I upset not to have any? How is having money going to change my life/circumstance right now? Here is an opportunity for me to truly let go of the last remaining Want in my life. What is it that I need? What do I need it for? Food/Gas: granted these seem essential, but is that just conditioning? I have 2 capable legs made for walking. I hike all the time and haven’t I been feeling like I haven’t been hiking enough lately? But isn’t the highway dangerous? Someone has implanted this in my head, it is a meme, an excuse (just like that initial hesitation to swim across the lake) holding you back. The fear and threat is created, by you Brittany, it is not real. Push on with positive attitude and you’ll be fine. When you were hitchhiking were you thinking of serial killers? No, believe in yourself, believe in others too (you know this). Besides, don’t you take a risk getting in your car every morning? Your legs are a safer means of travel, plus this actually fits into your primal simple lifestyle. Don’t perceive/anticipate that it is harder, just do it! Food? “When a person has nothing to eat, fasting is the smartest thing he could do.” – Herman Hesse, Siddhartha. Is it mere coincidence that you’ve been reading/experimenting with fasting (embrace the signs). Don’t you want to live off the map? Didn’t you have a client just this week say: you’d be content living in the woods getting your own food? So why can we not balance this, why when my modern world combines with my being world do I feel that there are things that I NEED? Perception getting in the way again. Take your own advice: think globally. Are things really that bad? Think of starving children and actual homeless people. Think of everything/everyone that you have. Yes, there is the brat comparing and saying that something is lacking in your life when there is nothing is wrong. Note, too, that if you are thinking of what’s lacking then you are not tapped in to the universe’s infinite abundance, this is not proper manifesting thought.
- Problem: Business is slow, you’re worried if it will make it
Like my father said last night, business’ go through challenges as well, but it’s those challenges that make them succeed. Just the other day on your hike weren’t you thinking of the importance of challenges (or as dad says things that make you uncomfortable)? You’ve done many cools things the last year, but which ones do you the most? Hitchhiking and climbing Pike’s Peak in the hail storm. Bingo, and why do you like these? Because they tested me. Tested my perception of myself and what I could spiritually and physically do. Instead of thinking that things seem slow, how are you going to fix this? First, take on a mindset to manifest. What we need is on its way, things are set in motion. It’s funny that every time we think we need to downsize or change someone will come back or someone will say that you changed their life or someone will sign up for a year or a new program. A sign that you’re in the right place, so hold tight. Instead of thinking doom and gloom, focus right now. What can I do today? Focus, Brittany! Focus on the person in front of you, change them, inspire them to change their thoughts on health to change their body. You have the opportunity to extend someone’s life, that is something, don’t fight it embrace it. They’re the reason you’re here. Okay, it’s between classes and you’re alone. Meditate on marketing and getting the word out about what you have to offer. Take care of business. Time to write a blog, focus, put all your inspirational power into the post, change them with your thoughts and writing. Don’t think of changing the world, think that you’re talking to one person, that you’re going to help one person. If you only help just one person is that enough? Yes it is. You do not have a crystal ball, stop anticipating and believe in yourself and your business. Focus on your nourishment, focus 100% on the people coming in the door. All you can do is your best and if you do that then can you be disappointed? You can’t get upset about things out of your control. Let go.
- Problem: I haven’t been sticking to the eating program my father gave me.
You’re not eating bad but you’re supposed to be fasting every other day, why can’t you (real problem: you are not doing what you say, why)? You fasted for 5 days in a row what’s hard about 1 day? You’re thinking of the future, of this set 28 days, of body analysis on the 21st. You’re feeling like you HAVE to do something, so you’re BEING side is conflicting, resisting. Balance don’t think that there is restriction or that you have to do it. Just do it. Don’t let it build up, and then you’re afraid to tell your father why? Because I’ll disappoint him (when really I’m disappointed in myself). Because I think I have to be a certain way with him, that I have to do what he suggests, that I’m obligated. Then the anticipation of talking to him makes you resistant. It’s a vicious cycle. If you identify the problem: fear and address it with honesty then you’ll reach the surface again. Last night mom suggests a meeting with your father about the business, something in your head says: go. We talk about it. Where these feelings are coming from. That he wants to make me better, but it is me not letting him. I’ve slipped up with my meme with him, let it creep back in: I have to please him, that he is judging me (I am doing this to myself). Let go Brittany, Breathe! Be honest and don’t anticipate- they’re killers.
Wow, these are some deep-rooted issues that I’ve been holding on to!
Diagnosis: your bratiness is being caused by attacking thoughts of FEAR and HAVE, with some long-withstanding memes causing irritation.
Cure: Thought. Change them. Be Love, then there will be no fear. Affirm and stay positive. Let Go.
You Brittany have decided to live simply, why when faced with the chance to do so, do you quiver in accepting it? Do you need something else? What is missing from your life right now? You are not a brat you are inspired. Just breathe, live life. Allow yourself to fully detach from yearning.
This is a test, pass and live by being.
BE, Love, Illuminate,