Bounding From the Box

Yesterday I finally got in a hike and I didn’t hike just anywhere, but my favorite place in the whole world: Snow Hill behind my childhood home. Not only an opportunity to sing and dance my way around the woods in the rain, but to practice some mindful walking and of course self-discovery.

Lesson 1: What you want isn’t necessarily what you need. Today as I look at the window it is another sunny gorgeous Indiana day, just like Tuesday and Monday. Yesterday as I anxiously waited to get off so I could go outside, I see the darkening clouds and the coming rain. It’s not that sunny-happy day that I thought or hoped I’d get. How silly was I? I barely make it into my shed before my backpack is flung over my shoulder ready to go. It’s sprinkling and dark, how to react? With the same enthusiasm as I had before. As in everything with life I have the opportunity to choose my mood, change my thought, change my prejudice. Sometimes it rains. I can’t control that, but what I can do is put on a smile crank up my IPod, find a song with a beat (PYT was a favorite yesterday), and just feel it, let the music take over and lose myself for a moment. I have the chance to choose.

Lesson 2: Choice is beautiful. I’ve been stuck in this vicious reading cycle (borderline obsessive). What have I been reading? Well after reading the Hunger Games I’ve been hooked on these futuristic young adult dystopia novels. Currently pushing through the Matched series and what I’ve found to be a central theme is choice. The Society controls everything. They predict and sort the people, setting up their Matches for their best mates who will create the best offspring, promoting long/healthy lives. But as the main character Cassia finds out, her whole life, her thoughts, food, future have been set up for her by the Society. They have no choices in running their own life. We, however, do not live in such a society. Everyday we make our own decisions, but we don’t always take advantage of this. Whether we’re happy or sad, what we eat, what we wear. At anytime we can change our thoughts. In mid-stream judgement we can change to a feeling of love instead. In an instance of fear, we can change to a thought of opportunity. Unfortunately we often feel that we have to do things, scheduling and booking our lives down to the minute. We live the life that our conditioning and society has sculpted for us since we were born (so I guess we’re more like Society than we realized). We go into professions encouraged by our parents, or what will make us money. We live in a box of who we are or are supposed to be.

Lesson 3: Breaking Down Boxes. I’ve been working on this the last year.  When I read Change Your Thoughts Change Your Life, I felt the tight corners of the Brittany box I was crammed into.When I was hitchhiking in California and before I went skydiving I remember thinking, ‘this is so not Brittany’. Who is this Brittany person and who says that there is a response that I Have to have? Do I want to be shut in enveloped by my fears and memes, predictable? No, therefore, I’ve been challenging myself to break free. Sometimes I just place a toe outside the box, other times I jump, sometimes I fall, but there is always something freeing about it. I am just BEING. Talking with my dad last week he was pointing out that we need to live in an unconscious state, that every spiritual leader is pointing this out. He’s right whether its Dyer or Thoreau or the Tao or the Gita or religious text the message is the same. I’ve learned to stop trying to figure out life, but to just live life. To BE. What can I be? Anything I want. There is no Brittany character any instance I have an opportunity to change and to choose. there is no rule book or guidelines defining me. I define myself. This last week I’ve definitely just jumped onto this. I finally realized to just say F-it I don’t care. I’m going to be, do and say what I want not what is expected. I’ll wear, what I want, I’ll go wherever I feel, I’ll eat what I like, I’ll be happy. I don’t have to please anyone else or fit anyone else’s standards. I had been thinking that when I reach a certain percentage I was gonna chop my hair. But then I thought why am I waiting, why do I have an apprehension  about cutting it so short? The apprehension was coming from the thought I created that people think long hair is attractive, instead of thinking of what I thought. Beauty is a state of being, not images of models and perfect bodies. I’m constantly changing my appearance, not because I don’t know who I am, but because my physical appearance has no bearings on who I am. It doesn’t change my thoughts. I am beautiful with any cut because that is what I believe and what I see. So as soon as I developed this f-it mindset I called set up an appointment and today I chopped my hair the shortest it’s ever been. I absolutely love it! How silly were my old memes that I shouldn’t have it this short (stupid fears of looking like a boy before I remind myself that with a D cup-size and my own thoughts I would never look like a boy).

I also realized that I’m not always good at practicing these lessons, but I am more aware of it and every second is another opportunity to change this. Embrace the moment and the choice. How you feel in this instance is your decision.

Being is Bliss and Live Outside of the Box!

BE, Love, Illuminate,

Brittany

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