I’m all about the moment, but sometimes looking back is fun (it often can serve as a reminder to live in the present after lessons learned), so long as you’re not living in it or in regret. Right now, this very moment that I am writing and breathing I have never been so unbelievably in love with myself or content with my life, but event shad to have happened to lead me to this path and present sensation both ‘good ‘ and ‘bad’). I talk consistently about conditioning and of course of parents are of course a catalyst to my upbringing and being (which is why it surprises me that I’ve never written about them exclusively). What’s funny is that they’re so apart of it, without ever really having to do anything. No rambling about gratitude will ever fully satisfy my feelings for them, nor any poor description of the unfathomable/undefineable love I have always shared for them (that can verge on being overwhelming sometimes). What do i mean do nothing? The beautiful thing about my parents is that they have always just let me be and encouraged me (and believe me I’ve probably been a bit trying at times). By most standards they may not be the ideal Jonses’ parnets, but who wants conformity and ordinary? They were never stuffy or overbearing, they just let us find our own path. Hell they wouldn’t have known or asked about report cards I I didn’t come beep boxing through the door waving it in their faces, as my brother cursed me from behind trying to shuffle by and get to his room before they asked him for his and his ‘grounding’ (which were pretty much a joke at our house and lasted a half day, a complete day at the most). We lived in the country and most of the time they worked, so my brother and I were trusted and from a young age to look over ourselves (although I admit to being motherly towards him despite being younger.) Trips to the malls or dinners out were rare. We spent most nights around the family table eating homecooked meals (my Dad is phenomenal cook, I get my passion for the kitchen from him). For a while we didn’t have cable either, so that further fueled our desire to be outside. We were on th trails behind our house, on the trampoline, playing homerun derby or football (my dad was all-time QB), playing hide-in-seek in the dark, using the fee-weights in the garage, riding our bikes, swimming tat the Foresters, playing PIG, or my sister and I ran together (or pretended that we went for our run). We were raised outdoors in the fresh air. My father helped our creative/entrepeneur sides at a young age (10 or so). We always had gardens,, but he said he’d get the seed and til the field, then we could week, pick and sell the sweet corn. It was always a choice though, we could stop whenever we wanted. Our first taste of self-sufficiency and if we want something we go for it (which is probably how I find myself as co-owner of our business- we are a team). Their wre never a lot of rules, I didn’t even have a curfew until I was maybe 18 (which was rarely enforced, all I had to do was text that I’d be late because I didn’t want to wake them, but most of the time they didnt’ even know if until they found the texts days later). They trust us, and I admit when I turned 21 I probably put them through hells as they made no protests as I moved out of the house and partied away. Mom has even told me she loved me but didn’t necessarily like me then, and I admit I didn’t like myself then either (part of the many reason I do not drink). they let me make my own ‘mistakes’ and tumble my way around for a bit, and you know where I ended up? With them, working and spending a lot of time with them, even outside of work. Last year I began my spiritual journey and tried them in other ways: ‘hey I’m gonna jump out of a plane,’, or ‘I’m moving into a storage she’ or ‘I’m taking off to California this weekend by myself with just my backpack’ or ‘I’m going couchsufing’. People would ask mom ‘how can you just let her take off across the country by herself o’ or asked me ‘what does your mother say about you sleeping on people’s couches.’ my beautiful mothers response, “She’s her own person, she’s going to live her own way.’ She is actually proud of me (they both are) because we have this unbelievable connection and she knows I’m at peace and happy now and she couldn’t ask for more. She’s my biggest support, I share my writing with her first (and she often cries, like when I gave her this one, but those tears often bring the most hear-warming of hugs too), but she ways gushes at how wonderful it is and what a beautiful woman I’ve become, but I always respond that I had some pretty stellar conditioning. As I dive further into the pool of love, gratitude, honesty and self, I feel my relationship with my parents (and others close to me ) grown exponentially. My dad has always been a driving force in my life. He is the one that got me turned onto Dyer (we went to see him together in September even) and who has been on his own journey as well, but is also there to call me out on my uninspiring moments. mom says she has never met anyone who works as hard as dad and I, on being better. We are two spiritual peas in a pod; true to ourselves, . I often feel like mom, Dad and I are in our own inspirational bubble.
I love them, they have conditioned me to be extraordinary by letting me BE and find my own inspiration for which I am eternally grateful.
If children are in my future I hope they will feel the same way as I: as if I have gently guided them on the path towards happiness, love and their true-self
BE, Love, Illuminate,