Failure, what if failure did not exist? This has been on mind ever since I read a blog by Dr. Dyer and after typing for my father where the word kept reappearing (I love my father dearly, but we differ sometimes on viewpoints, which is ok because it’s not about being right or wrong). I find that failure is another one of those fears and memes that we have, that tightly keep us pinned and struggling, so that we are never able to truly live. It’s not our faults, we are conditioned from childhood, always aiming for that ordinary rather than extraordinary. The dream; everyone knows the dream. To go to school, get a stable job, make money, marry, get that house with the white-picket fence, have children and raise them ‘better’ than we were (but still passing our memes down to them regardless of our intentions it’s how we’re programmed), work, work and work so that we can save for our children education and someday retire and then ‘live’ once we are retired. There’s nothing wrong with this if that is what we truly want, are happy and living life to the fullest each moment. I don’t think this is the case. We are afraid to fail to stray from the beaten path, to be ourselves, to take risk because risk could mean potential failure. When we are afraid of failing, is it because we are dissatisfied with ourselves or that we have let down other people or the image or character that we believe other want or think us to be? Are we afraid of success? Of finally having the life we want, are our memes telling us that we are undeserving. People don’t want to follow their dreams or passions to finally start-up that business that they’ve always wanted because it’s too ‘risky’ and other businesses fail, so will mine. We turn our backs on what we are inherently good and designed for. We trade passion and love for mundane and safe. We stick it out at that office job, that we dread going to each day, because it pays the bills. We don’t want to put ourselves out of there because of possible rejection and therefore failure. We don’t ask out the pretty girl from the coffee shop because what if she says no. But what if she is your soul mate that you let escape because you don’t want to fail. I find in our business this is a common thing. My eating hasn’t been ‘perfect’ so I’ve failed, I might as well eat that whole cake or quite than to push onward. Or the eating is to hard, when really we’re thinking: what if I don’t lose the weight? What if I gain it back? What if others think I’m fat? It’s easier to blame the eating or the establishment to look inwards, to be strong and realize that we are creating the proposed failure before it even can potentially happen. We let ourselves become ashamed and continue on our path of distraction rather than try because we have already viewed ourselves as failures. We need to see that we are already perfect and that our bodies are a vessel and we need to simply nourish them. It’s not about being a size 2 or being attractive to other, but taking care of ourselves. In having pride and taking care of our body the best we can, while here on earth. We don’t want to travel because it’s too expensive or something. We need to save because running out of money is failing. Does being ‘poor’ mean that you must also be unhappy? It does in our society if we view it as a failure. Most would consider me monetarily poor, but I consider myself beyond rich and far happier than most millionaires are. Why, because I’ve realized that not having money or fitting the mold that society and others have created for me, frees me. It allows me to be my true self, not the false one we portray to the world. I can experiment and travel, have no plans, follow that intuition, meet new people and learn. My eyes are fully open and I can see the beautiful world. It isn’t full of dead-ends, monotonous living, filthiness, and so-on. It’s full of endless opportunities, of hope and love and wonderful people who you need to give a chance and honestly see rather than harshly judge. Most of all we need to stop judging and holding ourselves back. Life isn’t about failing (because it doesn’t exist), it’s about being. Stop worrying about the future and what may come. Follow your intuition and passion to lead the life that you want not the one that you think you are supposed to have. And for goodness sake stop looking at ‘failure’.If you ‘fail’ by societies standards, you have only created a lesson to be learned from. Continue on, because life will whether you decide to move forward or not. I’d like to close with some wonderful points made by Dr. Dyer in his blog:
- You cannot fail, you can only produce results
- It is better to jump in and experience life than to stand on the sidelines fearing that something might go wrong
- In learning to crawl to learning to walk: Eventually your nature won out and you walked upright. What if you had succeeded in resisting your natural programming? You would still be crawling on all fours and not know the advantages of an upright life. Solid point here!
- What might be judged as errors or mistakes are the very stuff of growth. Thomas Edison: “I haven’t failed. Today I know twenty-five thousand ways not to make a battery.”
Thank you Dr. Dyer for your unbelievable wisdom and seemingly perfect timing into my life so that I can further my continual path towards center.
- The Purpose of Failure (herdwise.wordpress.com)
- Famous Failures (psychologytoday.com)
- …do NOT be AfraiD… (iampinks.wordpress.com)