Giving without Return

This has been on my mind even before my spiritual journey, but new events and conversations had shed new light on it. It’s amazing how Dr. Dyer always seems to have a message for me when I need it or when something is on my mind: “Love is a gift to the world. I fill myself with love, and I send that love out into the world. How others treat me is their path; how I react is mine, ” and “See the light in others, and treat them as if that is all you see.” Then today I’m considering writing this post finally and this pops up on my newsfeed, “Make conscious decision to look for what is right and pleasing in others. Create a new habit of complimenting those around you. Turn judgements into blessings.” Wow, Dr. Dyer is right on! Back to where these thoughts resurfaced from. I was driving my dear friend Cam home (a couple of times actually, similar conversation almost, keep in mind he’s a tid-bit wasted so we’ll cut him some slack). Cam is a wonderful guy; he truly cares about others and is always giving a compliment, wanting others to know how important they. He tries to live in nonjudgement and build people up for being themselves (did I mention me and Cam are a lot alike? It’s really kind of scary like I’m looking at a male version of myself). Anyways on his birthday Cam was a little upset that  his friends aren’t as giving of time and affection as he would be on their birthday because they mean something to him, so he wants to celebrate them and their importance in his life (apparently there are people like me and Cam in Colorado). I get where he’s coming from and I actually used to get the same (especially on my birthday). I like to do things for others, but sometimes I let myself think that I want or rather it’d be nice to have it reciprocated in the same way. I notice, however, when I give without expecting and keep my eyes and ears open, I’m aware of how much I do get (it’s the little things and not the grand gesture that mean the most). I realize that I love to do things for others: bake treats for my brother-in-law, cards for my friends, sample for at work, just texts of I love you’s. I you put out love, without expecting it back, that’s what you get back (although I don’t need the validation or for them to necessarily say it back (although it is nice to hear occasionally- stroke that ego that I try to sequester most of the time)). I’ve found the more I give the more I receive. On my trip to Vancouver I must resonate this because I must appear like I’m willing to give the little money I do have. A homeless soldier from Ohio with cancer and nine tumors needed money for bus fare back home, so I gave him the 20 my grandmother had given me. Did he really buy a bus ticket? Does matter? No he was in need and I have it, so I can give it. A girl Karen (who exuded the most upbeat positive energy) asked me to sponsor a child for her charity. She’s good, what can I say she won me over with her not-going-to-take-no attitude, but also her passion for the cause, and I liked her (we had a lot in common, like I was looking at a more extroverted version of myself). I was going to have my Christmas money donated to charity anyways, so why not give in this instance? For my birthday I gave everyone cards for my appreciation of them being in my life (focusing on what I do have rather than what is ‘missing’ makes me appreciate things more). I’ve realized that the people in my life are the most important thing and time with them is the best things so I make sure to relish in the limited time I do get to share with them. Like what Dr. Dyer said giving love is the most important thing. And what do I get? Besides a sponsored child, and a happy homeless man? I get big hugs from friends and clients when they see me, good luck texts on my trips and I love you’s, texts from my mom just to say I love you and visits from clients wanting to check in (bringing with them big hugs and smiles).  It all lights my heart up like the ever-present Christmas lights. Every text, smile, hug, facebook post sends a tug on my heart of gratitude. By focusing on the positive little things, I feel in love in my life that is truly amazing. Do all people respond with love or as much love? No some people don’t like me or don’t seem to. Does it matter? To start, if I practice the Four Agreements then I won’t take things personally. I can’t control other people, their actions, their thoughts, or spoken words. So why worry? Plus I find that often people’s issues with others stem from their own memes and do not deal directly with the person they’re nasty to. I can’t control them, but I can control myself. Therefor others can say or do to me what they want. They can hate me, budge me or call me names, but what matters most is how I treat them. Not to react or to be vengeful. Instead breathe and send even more love their way. Eventually you may ware them down (I do most people are inherently good, so your love will eventually break through). Some people you may never reach (and they may go through life, without an inspirational turn and I feel fortunate to have found it at such a young age), but that’s ok, all you can do is be yourself and love everyone. So I guess the lesson is: give without expecting return service, love everyone (even those that may not return it) and you’ll get all you could ever imagine. Don’t expect or want kindness, just give kindness!

BE, Love, Illuminate



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