Oh my father! Where to even begin. I guess I’ll start with the misperception. Some may perceive my father as abrasive or arrogant (some of the things I’ve heard), but these are clearly people who do not know or understand him. He has always been one of the major driving forces in my life for better or worse. We have always had our ups and downs and in my journey I’ve realized that he’s one of my biggest memes. I was always trying to please him and cared what he thought about me so much. It’s much easier to disregard what others think, but his approval always seemed essential. Maybe because the task seemed so daunting. In my journey I’ve realized that I have to let go of the memes I have with my father. I’m not 100% on this, but I am aware of it and our only problems come when I lose sight of being good (like take something personal or let my ego get in the way, but this is something that both of us agree we do that we try to concentrate on-it’s a skill and needs practice). Sometimes I treat it like a contest (who is the most Tao-like) or judging him (‘well that’s not very Godly’- thats actually wrong of me and takes me out of spirit, he is doing his best to practice being good and I need to focus on ME being good). I’ve realized that letting go and just letting him BE and by letting myself BE we are able to relish in-spirit together. It is one of the most uplifting feelings. Our swim across the lake has been one of my favorite challenges. Pacing ourselves leisurely, not looking back but not rushing toward the other side either. Being like little kids and exploring our true selves as we glide through the clear water exploring its effects on our different senses. We play around at diving down, pushing ourselves and ‘fear’ by holding our breaths longer and diving deeper. Amazing! What a wonderful feeling. I find him to be truly inspiring, and its sad because people don’t often embrace and see the good in him (but then again people often are in search of flaws rather than in accepting and appreciating), but I feel I’m more in spirit so I see it radiate from him. There are so many reason and things that I love about my father (and I’ll forget most of them, but here are just a few):
- I love that he doesn’t apologize for being himself
- that he is constantly working on being good
- that he challenges and pushes me to be my best, yet lets me be. He supports me and my crazy ideas unconditionally (trying his best not to impose)
- I love how passionate he is- he wants to extend people’s lives and serve, so he does the best he can to try to help others.
- his honesty and tough love. Growing up hearing things you don’t necessarily want to, yet are the truth, makes you self-evaluate (and improve). His honesty has embarked in me a striving to want to tell the truth and not to lie.
- His constant striving to do his best and push to do things better.
- His passion for nature and spending time outdoors with him (hiking, hunting, etc.)
- His love of life, wanting to live in the NOW (like it’s his last day)
- his love (we haven’t always been great at expressing it verbally, but we aware of it and our family is rich in love). I love him, though, and we have finally said it
- Being able to talk to him about anything. Before I always enjoyed talking sports and stuff with him, but now we can talk about virtually everything, I feel.
- His spiritual teaching. At work he has encouraged me to work on the mental/emotional aspect of health. This has really brought me to this great place that I am today, and brought us closer as well.
There are endless reasons why I love my father and these are just some. I’m so blessed to have him and his influence in my life. Love you Pops!!!!!!!!